middle

Tracing memories on paper
but my fingers won't write.





♫ The Middle - Zedd, Grey ft. Maren Morris

heartaches.

w h y
does my heart ache,

for something which does not
b e l o n g.

Words dance on my brain,

images of you swim in my mind,

your arms wrapped around my soul,

as if you were meant to be mine.


♫ Lost Stars - Keira Knightley

'Post title.'

One post a day,
is that possible?

I am drowning in words.
the lines that could be gibberish if not a well construct.

Am I perfect?
Could I ever be?

Otherwise what am I continuously doing,
in the life I am trying to flee.

No more big words.
only big feelings.

Rising in my throat,
clasping in,

tighter.



and tighter.

I'm losing it.

8 ways to deal with toxic people

1/ inherently remember that we ourselves, have been toxic too.
we have wronged someone in the past.
so before you condemn somebody, remember that you yourself, are also a person that has hurt someone in the past.

To another person. Don't believe me? Ask yourself the times you have wronged another.

Let's see if you answer honestly.

keep in mind that we're not always who we think we are. The behaviours we see are often reflections of things we simply do not prefer. Everyone is climbing the same mountain.

2/ under the exact same given circumstances in their lives,
we might behave that way to protect our own sense of self.

What's worse than the person before us?
It is that, we could have been them.
It could have been you with this lousy behaviour.
You don't know 100% what they've been through or still going through.

3/ remember what truly matters to you. 

not anyone else. YOU.
No one knows your reality.
Don't live your life loving yourself but plagued with the opinions of others.

4/ keep in mind that we're not always who we think we are. The behaviours we see are often reflections of things we simply do not prefer. Everyone is climbing the same mountain.

5/ future pace events where resentment might arise. Forgive in advance.

6/ in the moment, realise that between the stimulus and response, there is a
m o m e n t.

Observe your respiration and physical sensations. How do you feel in this exact moment?
Is your breathing deep or shallow?
Feel free to look up Vippassana.

Observe your sensations as it is and notice how your body is communicating with you.

Open up. Be true to yourself how the behaviour of this friend or family member made you feel. And pull yourself away if necessary.

7/ Go 100% in your life.

Do something for yourself. Now.
I mean it.
Goals are meant to work for you.
You do not work for them.
We've got it backwards. It's supposed to make your life better, not torment yourself in the midst of achieving it.
It's a process of growing.
You have to take every step on the path,
so why not with grace and harmony?

8/ See things as it is. Minus "what does it mean".

If she said something nasty, she simply said something nasty. 
It's not directed at you. It doesn't have to be. 

Look at how our brains are wired. It does not mean anything. You tend to attach meanings to things and events according to your own interpretation. Most of these are done in cognitive bias. Being open will open your mind and give it air to breathe. Perhaps even fresher, than what you have confined yourself to believe.

Take full responsibility for what you want to feel, and what is important, always.

♫ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LEmer7wwHI
Have a good week. :)

a w a k e n \ e t e r n i t y

Pen until it is finished,

The ink or the piece,

Words a work eternal, 

Be it kind or less peaced,

Grasping material,

for what it's pleasure though fleeting and temporal,

Fascinatingly take interest,

What may it timeless?

We return it at bay when we turn back to dust.

m o m e n t s.

Reflections unrelenting, what truly lays burning,

Arrive at the mirror,

as it recalls your yearning.

How do I utilize my imperfections when it makes me,

want to cry

inside?

carry me,

feeble, as fickle as I do,

Fragile yet useful,

I stick and stay in one piece.

As I let go,
releasing a desire into presents of the present,
rendering moments eternal,
piecing each other into a river of love,
wave after wave,
where it is the beginning infinitely,
and ends

with each
new passing m o m e n t.

and when shall I say,
it is finished?

 ∞

♫ It is Well - Kristene DiMarco

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along. -Rumi

You are the songs in a garden,
A symphony, and somewhat forbidden.
A secret, I feel that is no longer.

♫ It is Well - Kristene DiMarco

Reload

Where I pass by, cross roads,
 I remember what it's like to have been a toad,
Ugly and humped,
Less loved than the less hideous frogs.
 I forgot to love myself in times I fear,
When I want so bad,
when I tear apart what I hold dear,
In all anxiety and calmness I search within ruins,
How to surrender whilst not shattering,
or breaking apart sanguine.

 Love and fear come together,
To expand and glorify each another,

What is love when I don't know fear?
In contrast to yield to the joyous heart of ears.

I Love You,
Too easy to subdue.
Before I say it to anyone else,
I must first,
say it to myself.